Through the Looking Glass - Chapter 8

Through the Looking Glass by Lewis Carroll

 

Chapter 1 - Looking-Glass House

Chapter 2 - The Garden of Live Flower

Chapter 3 - Looking-Glass Insects 

Chapter 4 - Tweedledum and Tweedledee

Chapter 5 - Wool and Water

Chapter 6 - Humpty Dumpty

Chapter 7 - The Lion and the Unicorn 

 

Chapter 8 - 'It's my own Invention'

After a while the noise seemed gradually to die away, till all was dead silence, and Alice lifted up her head in some alarm. There was no one to be seen, and her first thought was that she must have been dreaming about the Lion and the Unicorn and those still lying at her feet, on which she had tried to cut the plum- cake, `So I wasn't dreaming, after all,' she said to herself, `unless -- unless we're all part of the same dream. Only I do hope it's my dream, and not the Red King's! I don't like belonging to another person's dream,' she went on in a rather complaining tone: `I've a great mind to go and wake him, and see what happens!'

At this moment her thoughts were interrupted by a loud shouting of `Ahoy! Ahoy! Check! and a Knight dressed in crimson armour, came galloping down upon her, brandishing a great club. Just as he reached her, the horse stopped suddenly: `You're my prisoner!' the Knight cried, as he tumbled off his horse.

Startled as she was, Alice was more frightened for him than for herself at the moment, and watched him with some anxiety as he mounted again. As soon as he was comfortably in the saddle, he began once more `You're my -- ' but here another voice broke in `Ahoy! Ahoy! Check!' and Alice looked round in some surprise for the new enemy.

This time it was a White Knight. He drew up at Alice's side, and tumbled off his horse just as the Red Knight had done: then he got on again, and the two Knights sat and looked at each other for some time without speaking. Alice looked from one to the other in some bewilderment.

`She's my prisoner, you know!' the Red Knight said at last.

`Yes, but then I came and rescued her!' the White Knight replied.

`Well, we must fight for her, then,' said the Red Knight, as he took up his helmet (which hung from the saddle, and was something the shape of a horse's head, and put it on.

`You will observe the Rules of Battle, of course?' the White Knight remarked, putting on his helmet too.

`I always do,' said the Red Knight, and they began banging away at each other with such fury that Alice got behind a tree to be out of the way of the blows.

Through the Looking Glass - Chapter 7

Through the Looking Glass by Lewis Carroll

 

Chapter 1 - Looking-Glass House

Chapter 2 - The Garden of Live Flower

Chapter 3 - Looking-Glass Insects 

Chapter 4 - Tweedledum and Tweedledee

Chapter 5 - Wool and Water

Chapter 6 - Humpty Dumpty

 

Chapter 7 - The Lion and the Unicorn

 

The next moment soldiers cam running through the wood, at first in twos and threes, then ten or twenty together, and at last in such crowds that they seemed to fill the whole forest. Alice got behind a tree, for fear of being run over, and watched them go by.

She thought that in all her life she had never seen soldiers so uncertain on their feet: they were always tripping over something or other, and whenever one went down, several more always fell over him, so that the ground was soon covered with little heaps of men.

Then came the horses. Having four feet, these managed rather better than the foot-soldiers: but even they stumbled now and then; and it seemed to be a regular rule that, whenever a horse stumbled the rider fell off instantly. The confusion got worse every moment, and Alice was very glad to get out of the wood into an open place, where she found the White King seated on the ground, busily writing in his memorandum-book.

`I've sent them all!' the King cried in a tone of delight, on seeing Alice. `Did you happen to meet any soldiers, my dear, as you came through the wood?'

`Yes, I did,' said Alice: several thousand, I should think.'

`Four thousand two hundred and seven, that's the exact number,' the King said, referring to his book. `I couldn't send all the horses, you know, because two of them are wanted in the game. And I haven't sent the two Messengers, either. They're both gone to the town. Just look along the road, and tell me if you can see either of them.'

`I see nobody on the road,' said Alice.

`I only wish I had such eyes,' the King remarked in a fretful tone. `To be able to see Nobody! And at that distance, too! Why, it's as much as I can do to see real people, by this light!'

All this was lost on Alice, who was still looking intently along the road, shading her eyes with one hand. `I see somebody now!' she exclaimed at last. `But he's coming very slowly -- and what curious attitudes he goes into!' (For the messenger kept skipping up and down, and wriggling like an eel, as he came along, with his great hands spread out like fans on each side.)

`Not at all,' said the King. `He's an Anglo-Saxon Messenger -- and those are Anglo-Saxon attitudes. He only does them when he's happy. His name ia Haigha.' (He pronounced it so as to rhyme with `mayor.'

`I love my love with an H,' Alice couldn't help beginning,' because he is Happy. I hate him with an H, because he is Hideous. I fed him with -- with -- with Ham-sandwiches and Hay. His name is Haigha, and he lives -- '

`He lives on the Hill,' the King remarked simply, without the least idea that he was joining in the game, while Alice was still hesitating for the name of a town beginning with H. `The other Messenger's called Hatta. I must have two, you know -- to come and go. Once to come, and one to go.'

`I beg your pardon?' said Alice.

`It isn't respectable to beg,' said the King.

`I only meant that I didn't understand,' said Alice. `Why one to come and one to go?'

`Don't I tell you?' the King repeated impatiently. `I must have Two -- to fetch and carry. One to fetch, and one to carry.'

At this moment the Messenger arrived: he was far too much out of breath to say a word, and could only wave his hands about, and make the most fearful faces at the poor King.

`This young lady loves you with an H,' the King said, introducing Alice in the hope of turning off the Messenger's attention from himself -- but it was no use -- the Anglo-Saxon attitudes only got more extraordinary every moment, while the great eyes rolled wildly from side to side.

`You alarm me!' said the King. `I feel faint -- Give me a ham sandwich!'

On which the Messenger, to Alice's great amusement, opened a bag that hung round his neck, and handed a sandwich to the King, who devoured it greedily.

`Another sandwich!' said the King.

`There's nothing but hay left now,' the Messenger said, peeping into the bag.

`Hay, then,' the King murmured in a faint whisper.

Alice was glad to see that it revived him a good deal. `There's nothing like eating hay when you're faint,' he remarked to her, as he munched away.

`I should think throwing cold water over you would be better,' Alice suggested: `or some sal-volatile.'

`I didn't say there was nothing better,' the King replied. `I said there was nothing like it.' Which Alice did not venture to deny.

`Who did you pass on the road?' the King went on, holding out his hand to the Messenger for some more hay.

Through the Looking Glass - Chapter 6

Through the Looking Glass by Lewis Carroll

Chapter 1 - Looking-Glass House

Chapter 2 - The Garden of Live Flower

Chapter 3 - Looking-Glass Insects 

Chapter 4 - Tweedledum and Tweedledee

Chapter 5 - Wool and Water

Chapter 6 - Humpty Dumpty

However, the egg only got larger and larger, and more and more human: when she had come within a few yards of it, she saw that it had eyes and a nose and mouth; and when she had come close to it, she saw clearly that it was HUMPTY DUMPTY himself. `It can't be anybody else!' she said to herself. `I'm as certain of it, as if his name were written all over his face.'

It might have been written a hundred times, easily, on that enormous face. Humpty Dumpty was sitting with his legs crossed, like a Turk, on the top of a high wall -- such a narrow one that Alice quite wondered how he could keep his balance -- and, as his eyes were steadily fixed in the opposite direction, and he didn't take the least notice of her, she thought he must be a stuffed figure after all.

`And how exactly like an egg he is!' she said aloud, standing with her hands ready to catch him, for she was every moment expecting him to fall.

`It's very provoking,' Humpty Dumpty said after a long silence, looking away from Alice as he spoke, `to be called an egg -- very!'

`I said you looked like an egg, Sir,' Alice gently explained. `And some eggs are very pretty, you know, she added, hoping to turn her remark into a sort of a compliment.

`Some people,' said Humpty Dumpty, looking away from her as usual, `have no more sense than a baby!'

Alice didn't know what to say to this: it wasn't at all like conversation, she thought, as he never said anything to her; in fact, his last remark was evidently addressed to a tree -- so she stood and softly repeated to herself: --

`Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall:
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the King's horses and all the King's men
Couldn't put Humpty Dumpty in his place again.'

`That last line is much too long for the poetry,' she added, almost out loud, forgetting that Humpty Dumpty would hear her.

Through the Looking Glass - Chapter 5

Through the Looking Glass by Lewis Carroll

Chapter 1 - Looking-Glass House

Chapter 2 - The Garden of Live Flower

Chapter 3 - Looking-Glass Insects 

Chapter 4 - Tweedledum and Tweedledee

 

Chapter 5 - Wool and Water

 

She caught the shawl as she spoke, and looked about for the owner: in another moment the White Queen came running wildly through the wood, with both arms stretched out wide, as if she were flying, and Alice very civilly went to meet her with the shawl.

`I'm very glad I happened to be in the way,' Alice said, as she helped her to put on her shawl again.

The While Queen only looked at her in a helpless frightened sort of way, and kept repeating something in a whisper to herself that sounded like `bread-and-butter, bread-and-butter,' and Alice felt that if there was to be any conversation at all, she must manage it herself. So she began rather timidly: `Am I addressing the White Queen?'

`Well, yes, if you call that a-dressing,' The Queen said. `It isn't my notion of the thing, at all."

Alice thought it would never do to have an argument at the very beginning of their conversation, so she smiled and said, `If your Majesty will only tell me the right way to begin, I'll do it as well as I can.'

`But I don't want it done at all!' groaned the poor Queen. `I've been a-dressing myself for the last two hours.'

It would have been all the better, as it seemed to Alice, if she had got some one else to dress her, she was so dreadfully untidy. `Every single thing's crooked,' Alice thought to herself, `and she's all over pins! -- may I put your shawl straight for you?' she added aloud.

`I don't know what's the matter with it!' the Queen said, in a melancholy voice. `It's out of temper, I think. I've pinned it here, and I've pinned it there, but there's no pleasing it!'

`It can't go straight, you know, if you pin it all on one side,' Alice said, as she gently put it right for her; `and, dear me, what a state your hair is in!'

`The brush has got entangled in it!' the Queen said with a sigh. `And I lost the comb yesterday.'

Alice carefully released the brush, and did her best to get the hair into order. `Come, you look rather better now!' she said, after altering most of the pins. `But really you should have a lady's maid!'

`I'm sure I'll take you with pleasure!' the Queen said. `Twopence a week, and jam every other day.'

Alice couldn't help laughing, as she said, `I don't want you to hire me -- and I don't care for jam.'

`It's very good jam,' said the Queen
.
`Well, I don't want any to-day, at any rate.'

`You couldn't have it if you did want it,' the Queen said. `The rule is, jam to-morrow and jam yesterday -- but never jam to-day.'

Through the Looking Glass - Chapter 4

Through the Looking Glass by Lewis Carroll

Chapter 1 - Looking-Glass House

Chapter 2 - The Garden of Live Flower

Chapter 3 - Looking-Glass Insects 

 

Chapter 4 - Tweedledum and Tweedledee

 

They were standing under a tree, each with an arm round the other's neck, and Alice knew which was which in a moment, because one of them had `DUM' embroidered on his collar, and the other `DEE.' `I suppose they've each got "TWEEDLE" round at the back of the collar,' she said to herself.

They stood so still that she quite forgot they were alive, and she was just looking round to see if the word "TWEEDLE" was written at the back of each collar, when she was startled by a voice coming from the one marked `DUM.'

`If you think we're wax-works,' he said, `you ought to pay, you know. Wax-works weren't made to be looked at for nothing, Nohow!'

`Contrariwise,' added the one marked `DEE,' `if you think we're alive, you ought to speak.'

`I'm sure I'm very sorry,' was all Alice could say; for the words of the old song kept ringing through her head like the ticking of a clock, and she could hardly help saying them out loud: --

`Tweedledum and Tweedledee
Agreed to have a battle;
For Tweedledum said Tweedledee
Had spoiled his nice new rattle.

Just then flew down a monstrous crow,
As black as a tar-barrel;
Which frightened both the heroes so,
They quite forgot their quarrel.'

Through the Looking Glass - Chapter 3

Through the Looking Glass by Lewis Carroll

Chapter 1 - Looking-Glass House

Chapter 2 - The Garden of Live Flower

Chapter 3 - Looking-Glass Insects

Of course the first thing to do was to make a grand survey of the country she was going to travel through. `It's something very like learning geography,' thought Alice, as she stood on tiptoe in hopes of being able to see a little further. `Principal rivers -- there are none. Principal mountains -- I'm on the only one, but I don't think it's got any name. Principal towns -- why, what are those creatures, making honey down there? They can't be bees -- nobody ever saw bees a mile off, you know - - ' and for some time she stood silent, watching one of them that was bustling about among the flowers, poking its proboscis into them, `just as if it was a regular bee,' thought Alice. 

However, this was anything but a regular bee: in fact it was an elephant -- as Alice soon found out, though the idea quite took her breath away at first. `And what enormous flowers they must be!' was her next idea. `Something like cottages with the roofs taken off, and stalks put to them -- and what quantities of honey they must make! I think I'll go down and -- no, I won't just yet, ' she went on, checking herself just as she was beginning to run down the hill, and trying to find some excuse for turning shy so suddenly. `It'll never do to go down among them without a good long branch to brush them away -- and what fun it'll be when they ask me how I like my walk. I shall say -- "Oh, I like it well enough -- "' (here came the favourite little toss of the head), `"only it was so dusty and hot, and the elephants did tease so!"' 

`I think I'll go down the other way,' she said after a pause: `and perhaps I may visit the elephants later on. Besides, I do so want to get into the Third Square!' 

So with this excuse she ran down the hill and jumped over the first of the six little brooks. 

     *       *       *       *       *       *       *

         *       *       *       *       *       *

     *       *       *       *       *       *       *

`Tickets, please!' said the Guard, putting his head in at the window. In a moment everybody was holding out a ticket: they were about the same size as the people, and quite seemed to fill the carriage. 

`Now then! Show your ticket, child!' the Guard went on, looking angrily at Alice. And a great many voices all said together (`like the chorus of a song,' thought Alice), `Don't keep him waiting, child! Why, his time is worth a thousand pounds a minute!' 

`I'm afraid I haven't got one,' Alice said in a frightened tone: `there wasn't a ticket-office where I came from." And again the chorus of voices went on. `There wasn't room for one where she came from. The land there is worth a thousand pounds an inch!' 

`Don't make excuses,' said the Guard: `you should have bought one from the engine-driver.' And once more the chorus of voices went on with `The man that drives the engine. Why, the smoke alone is worth a thousand pounds a puff!' 

Alice thought to herself, `Then there's no use in speaking." The voices didn't join in this time, as she hadn't spoken, but to her great surprise, they all thought in chorus (I hope you understand what thinking in chorus means -- for I must confess that I don't), `Better say nothing at all. Language is worth a thousand pounds a word!' 

`I shall dream about a thousand pounds tonight, I know I shall!' thought Alice. 

Through The Looking Glass - Chapter 2

Through the Looking Glass by Lewis Carroll

Chapter 1 - Looking-Glass House

Chapter 2 - The Garden of Live Flower

`I should see the garden far better,' said Alice to herself, `if I could get to the top of that hill: and here's a path that leads straight to it -- at least, no, it doesn't do that -- ' (after going a few yards along the path, and turning several sharp corners), `but I suppose it will at last. But how curiously it twists! It's more like a corkscrew than a path! Well, this turn goes to the hill, I suppose -- no, it doesn't! This goes straight back to the house! Well then, I'll try it the other way.'

And so she did: wandering up and down, and trying turn after turn, but always coming back to the house, do what she would. Indeed, once, when she turned a corner rather more quickly than usual, she ran against it before she could stop herself.

`It's no use talking about it," Alice said, looking up at the house and pretending it was arguing with her. `I'm not going in again yet. I know I should have to get through the Looking-glass again -- back into the old room -- and there'd be an end of all my adventures!'

So, resolutely turning back upon the house, she set out once more down the path, determined to keep straight on till she got to the hill. For a few minutes all went on well, and she was just saying, `I really shall do it this time -- ' when the path gave a sudden twist and shook itself (as she described it afterwards), and the next moment she found herself actually walking in at the door.

'Oh, it's too bad!' she cried. `I never saw such a house for getting in the way! Never!'
However, there was the hill full in sight, so there was nothing to be done but start again. This time she came upon a large flower-bed, with a border of daisies, and a willow-tree growing in the middle.

`O Tiger-lily,' said Alice, addressing herself to one that was waving gracefully about in the wind, `I wish you could talk!'

`We can talk,' said the Tiger-lily: `when there's anybody worth talking to."

Through the Looking Glass - Chapter 1

Through the Looking Glass by Lewis Carroll



Chapter 1 - Looking-Glass House

One thing was certain, that the white kitten had had nothing to do with it: -- it was the black kitten's fault entirely. For the white kitten had been having its face washed by the old cat for the last quarter of an hour (and bearing it pretty well, considering); so you see that it couldn't have had any hand in the mischief.

The way Dinah washed her children's faces was this: first she held the poor thing down by its ear with one paw, and then with the other paw she rubbed its face all over, the wrong way, beginning at the nose: and just now, as I said, she was hard at work on the white kitten, which was lying quite still and trying to purr -- no doubt feeling that it was all meant for its good.

But the black kitten had been finished with earlier in the afternoon, and so, while Alice was sitting curled up in a corner of the great arm-chair, half talking to herself and half asleep, the kitten had been having a grand game of romps with the ball of worsted Alice had been trying to wind up, and had been rolling it up and down till it had all come undone again; and there it was, spread over the hearth-rug, all knots and tangles, with the kitten running after its own tail in the middle.

`Oh, you wicked little thing!' cried Alice, catching up the kitten, and giving it a little kiss to make it understand that it was in disgrace. `Really, Dinah ought to have taught you better manners! You ought, Dinah, you know you ought!' she added, looking reproachfully at the old cat, and speaking in as cross a voice as she could manage -- and then she scrambled back into the arm-chair, taking the kitten and the worsted with her, and began winding up the ball again. But she didn't get on very fast, as she was talking all the time, sometimes to the kitten, and sometimes to herself. Kitty sat very demurely on her knee, pretending to watch the progress of the winding, and now and then putting out one paw and gently touching the ball, as if it would be glad to help, if it might.

`Do you know what to-morrow is, Kitty?' Alice began. `You'd have guessed if you'd been up in the window with me -- only Dinah was making you tidy, so you couldn't. I was watching the boys getting in stick for the bonfire -- and it wants plenty of sticks, Kitty! Only it got so cold, and it snowed so, they had to leave off. Never mind, Kitty, we'll go and see the bonfire to-morrow.' Here Alice wound two or three turns of the worsted round the kitten's neck, just to see how it would look: this led to a scramble, in which the ball rolled down upon the floor, and yards and yards of it got unwound again.